Hi everyone,

I started a new job last Thursday at the University of Minnesota. Thanks for all your concern while I was unemployed.

jlf

From: Benjamin Subject: What killed the dog?

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner "Mom & Pop" grocery picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over, and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.

Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."

But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.

About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.

"Oh, he died," the boy said.

The grocer, trying not to be an "I-told-you-so", said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."

"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."

"Oh? What was it then?"

"I think it was the spin cycle!"

Joke Submission by: Hollis

Parking Loan

A businessman walks into a bank in Boston and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls-Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is: why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The businessman replied: Where else in Boston can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?

Subject: Kids Speak From: ronald.dysvick@sap-ag.de (Ronald Dysvick)

A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother, "There were 2 boy kittens and 2 girl kittens." "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath he replied. I think it's printed on the bottom."

Another three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?", his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

"Can people predict the future with cards?" "My mother can." "Really?" "Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She recited it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail. AMEN."

>From Dilbert Sun Jan 3 99

Initiate the description of the criteria for requirements by developing a framework for the application architecture consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative.