A Desperate Plea For Help

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. Touched by the sensitivity of a man with such a gruff appearance, she asked, "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm their landlord," he sobbed.

Joke Submission by: patrick benedict of Makati

Ven Two Minnesootins Meet Oop Nort On Da Lake Fichen!

"Haydair."
"Lobuddy"
"Benearlong?"
"Coplhours."
"Cripes, cetchenenny?"
"Yepgoddafew"
"Vairdaybittn?"
"Oberdair"
"Kindarday?"
"Valleyeennordern."
"Ennysiztooum?"
"Cuplapowns."
"Oofda, bittenard?"
"yanohowdeyar."
"Vahchaoozin? Dalindyrik?"
"Ohyeahdonchano."
"Fichenondaboddum?"
"Rydoopneardaboddum."
"Howdeeperya?"
"Bouttvenyfeet."
"Oh, Vachadrinkin?"
"Hadacouplabeers."
"Velligoddago."
"Tubad."
"Seeyaround."
"Yeahtakideeze."
"Guluk."
"Yoobetcha."

Da Ent!!!

IF YOU WERE ABLE TO READ THIS YOU ARE A TRUE MINNESOOTIN!

From: "sb"

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the rosy-cheeked youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"

"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat!"