What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guy walks into a shop. "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremolo?" "You're a drummer, aren't you?" "Duh, yeah. How'd you know?" "This is a travel agent." ================================================================================ How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? Shoot one. ================================================================================ What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? It's all in the grip. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax? You can tune the lawnmower. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the definition of a gentleman? Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't. ================================================================================ What's the range of a tuba? 20 yards if you've got a good arm. ================================================================================ How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? The bow is moving. ================================================================================ What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet? A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you heard about the new radio station called WPMS? They play three weeks of blues and one week of ragtime. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who can play 5 musical instruments? Stump the band. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oboe: An ill wind that no one blows good.