More Redneck Etiquette

When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.

Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.

When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.

Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.

Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.

While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all, their mobile home costs just as much as yours.

Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his manners are.

Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

If a girl's name does not appear regularly on a bathroom wall, water tower, or an overpass, odds are good that the date will end in frustration.

Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.

Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.

It is not okay for the groom to bring a date to a wedding.

Never take a beer to a job interview

It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul van to the funeral home.