Humorlist for Wed Mar 1 2000

Hospital Humor

A doctor enters into a patient's room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear.

The patient responds, "Doctor, give me the good news."

The doctor says, "Well we are going to name a disease after you."

Joke Submission by: Ben Bruckart

From: (Ronald Dysvick)

The Convert

Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign posted that says, "Convert to Catholicism and get $10."

One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign. His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?"

"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."

Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"

Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it." With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and comes out twenty minutes later with his head bowed.

"So," asks Abe, "did you get your ten dollars?"

Murray looks up at him and says, "Is that all you people think of?"

From: (Ronald Dysvick)

Dear John,

The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:

Dear Mary,

Regret can not remember which one is you ... please keep your photo and return the others."


Man goes to see dentist and asks "How much to pull two wisdom teeth?"

Dentist says, "$100.00."

Man says, "Too much. Can't you do it for less?"

Dentist says "I can do it for $50 if I cut out the novacaine."

Man says, "That's better but still too much. Can't we do it any cheaper?"

Dentist says, "I could let my trainee do it for $20 but she has never pulled a tooth before and it would be quite painful."

Man says, "That's great. Schedule my wife for next Tuesday."

Joke Submission by: Cal Sauers


A man goes to the doctor and says: Doc, you have to help me. Sometimes I wake up and feel like Mickey Mouse, sometimes I wake up and feel goofy.

The doc asks: How long have you had these Disney spells?

Joke Submission by: