Humorlist for Fri Feb 18 2000

From: (Ronald Dysvick)


A Polish couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Japanese baby boy, and they took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?"

The Polish couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him."

A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

Q. There are three girls, all in grade 3: one a brunette, one a redhead, and one a blonde. Which one of them is the tallest?

A. The blonde, because she's 19 years old.


You're getting old when you don't care where your wife goes, just so long as you don't have to go along too.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

From: "John A. Crow"

A Minnesotan takes a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the him in a friendly manner.

"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy YOU a drink. If you can't then you buy ME one. OK?"

"Ja, dat sounds purty good," says Sven.

The Indian says, "My father and mother had one child. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?"

Sven scratches his head and finally says, "I give up. Who vas it?"

"It was ME," chortled the Indian.

So the Minnesotan pays for the drinks. Back home in Minnesota Sven goes into the bar and spots one of his cronies, "Ole," he says, "I got a game. If you can answer a question, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't, YOU have to buy ME vun. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough," says Ole.

"Ok den, my father and mudder had vun child. It vasn't my brudder. It vasn't my sister. Who vas it?"

"Search me," says Sven. "I give up, who vas it?"

"It vas some Indian up in Fargo, North Dakota."