What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.

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   Guy walks into a shop.  "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30
amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose
tremolo?"
   "You're a drummer, aren't you?"
   "Duh, yeah.  How'd you know?"
   "This is a travel agent."
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How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison?
Shoot one.

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What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
It's all in the grip.

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What's the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
You can tune the lawnmower.

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What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
Vibrato.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?
Somone who knows how to play the trombone and doesn't.

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What's the range of a tuba?
20 yards if you've got a good arm.
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How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
The bow is moving.

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What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?
A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

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Have you heard about the new radio station called WPMS?
They play three weeks of blues and one week of ragtime.
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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who can play 5 musical instruments?
Stump the band.

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Oboe:  An ill wind that no one blows good.